R is for Referees. There is a shortage of qualified referees in grassroots football. The situation I experienced as a manager is the one that I’ve included in Foul and Fair – most teams other than the oldest of junior sides have to supply their own refs, with the few available league-appointed refs going to the older age groups or to matches that are anticipated to be potentially difficult. Most of the time, this meant either one of the coaches overseeing the game, or a parent stepping up to take charge. Without the officials there's no game, I've even taken to customising classic song lyrics in the past to make that point.

I was very lucky when I was running my West Moors side, as we had several parents who were happy to take a turn with the whistle when required. We also had, for several seasons, one lad whose dad was – and is – a proper qualified ref (and a very good one) who was always happy to take our matches if he wasn’t needed elsewhere. He still refs for me now, at the Man v Fat club in Bournemouth.

As the book shows, the performance levels of volunteer refs can cover quite a range. Some are well-meaning and fair, going out of their way not to give an unfair advantage to their team, others… well, I don’t like to criticise refs, so let’s just leave that one hanging. I never had to ref my younger son’s team, largely because I was coaching, but I did occasionally take charge of matches for my older son’s team when they had no other options. It was never a task I relished, and I’ll admit to being hugely relieved when we went 1-0 down in the first minute of the first game I reffed. It was a cup match against a team much higher in the league than us, and we were missing our usual goalkeeper. That first minute of play reassured me that no matter how much I underperformed as ref, I wasn’t going to be the reason we lost the game!

There is one match in the book with an extraordinarily biased ref, and I never witnessed anything as bad as that, but I certainly suffered at the hands of refs who were reluctant to give big decisions in the favour of the visiting team, and others who were visibly influenced by the appeals of the home manager. Mostly though, I didn’t see anything that could be regarded as grossly unfair. Linesmen were a similarly mixed bag, and I probably saw more dodgy linos than I did dodgy refs. I ran the line for Peter’s team much more frequently, not least because I realised that during the winter months it was the best way of keeping warm on the touchline. I like to think I was scrupulously fair during those games, always resisting the temptation to rule out opposition goals for spurious offsides or similar. On one occasion I awarded a goal against us when the referee wasn’t sure whether or not the ball had crossed the goalline, which would have been an easy one for me have fudged if I was so minded. As with so many aspects of children’s football, we need to model the behaviour we want our children to emulate. If we want them to be fair-minded and to show respect to officials, we have to do that ourself. Giving dodgy decisions in your own team’s favour is ultimately self-defeating, as is shouting at a ref, no matter how badly you think he or she is doing.