K is for Kieran

Kieran is a character who, from an inspirational point of view, has many fathers (which is ironic, as I think most people would agree that he’s a bit of a bastard). I’d like to categorically state that Kieran is not modelled on any one particular person; he’s an amalgam of many football coaches that I’ve encountered in my time in grassroots football. Sadly, it’s all too common to see coaches ranting and screaming on the touchline, berating refs and children alike and generally acting as if winning the match is the most important thing in the world. Several people – from a wide range of geographical locations – have told me that they think they know Kieran. As an author, that’s very satisfying; as a football coach it’s rather depressing. Most of the things that the fictional Kieran does in the book are based on either my first hand-experience of the various real-world Kierans, or accounts of what friends of mine have seen take place. The dirty tricks he gets up to before the first Hawks vs Swifts match are an exception to that, but – off the top of my head – I think pretty much everything else he does has a base in reality.

Kierans exist in other sports too, of course. My wife is a secondary school teacher and she once overheard a group of sixth formers discussing their rugby coach. ‘Basically, he’s made sure that I don’t enjoy my last year playing rugby,’ said one. That’s what happens when we lose sight of what grassroots sport is all about, and I can’t think of a worse epitaph for any coach. Please, don’t be a Kieran.