L is for Lock

I’ve already mentioned how numerous incidental characters in Foul and Fair are named after Fulham players of days gone by. Mr Lock’s café, as frequented by Hayley and PC Martin Pike (coincidentally, another ex-Fulham namesake) is partially named after Kevin Lock, part of Malcolm McDonald's brilliant young team of the early 80s, the first Fulham side I remember with any clarity. But the bigger part of the naming of the café is in honour of a friend of mine, Paul Lock, who owns and runs Kitchen, the best café in Pokesdown, Bournemouth. His son, Fin, was a member of my West Moors team – indeed, for several years he was our captain – and every year in the run-in to Christmas, Paul would invite the whole team to a complementary cooked breakfast (that wasn’t why Fin ended up as captain, by the way). Boys and the coaches alike all looked forward to it, both for the social occasion and the excellent food. If you’re ever in the area and feeling peckish, Kitchen comes highly recommended.

Paul’s namesake, Kevin, was a very accomplished penalty taker with an almost unblemished record while at Fulham, even scoring two penalties against Bruce Grobbelaar in a famous cup tie at Anfield. However, the one spot-kick he missed for us has a typically Fulhamish story behind it. It was back in the days before goalkeepers could do in-depth video analysis of the opposition, and Fulham were away at Exeter City. Exeter’s centre-forward, watching the preparations for the kick from the half-way line was chatting to Fulham’s left-back Les Strong.

‘He takes a good penalty, doesn’t he?’ said the striker.

‘Yes,’ confirmed Strong.

‘Always puts it to the keeper’s left, doesn’t he?’

‘No, the right.’

At that, the striker starts waving and gesticulating, pointing his goalkeeper in the correct direction, while Les Strong tried desperately to grab his arm and prevent the signal from being made. All to no avail, the keeper went the right way and Kevin Lock’s perfect penalty-taking record was a thing of the past.